Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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