I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
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Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
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We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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