I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
