i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
