i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
