She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
