I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
