So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize