i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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