I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
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oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
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What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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