Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
