Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
