Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
