haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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