she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
