considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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