I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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