great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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