i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
