I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
