We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
