Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
