How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
someone owes me an orgasm
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Bring me that man meat
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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