How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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