I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize