Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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