Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
