ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Your cock deserves a montage
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada†on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
