just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
