I'm drive I can fine osifer
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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