D3 body, D1 cock
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
