were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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