your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She announced her abortion via fbk
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
