I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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