I want to walk on stilts...naked
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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