well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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