i wish there were pregnant emoticons
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
