ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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