My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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