Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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