What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
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Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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