And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
