Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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