So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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