I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
