I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
