I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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