her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
