wanna go halves on a baby?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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