Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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