This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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