If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
