I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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