i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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