I think im going to throw up on grandma
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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