HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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