dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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