I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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