tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Every concussion has its silver lining
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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