I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she pinky promised me she was 18
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
